Wednesday 24 December 2014

Winter Goodwill 2014: #4: The AhhGee team

I have recently been ordering, packing, and posting Christmas pressies to a small number of friends. Due to financial reasons, I have had to cut back the number of presents I am buying this year; however, when I look back at 2014, there are more people than ever that I want to express my gratitude towards. That is why I have decided to start a series of blogs entitled Winter Goodwill. In each blog, I will write about a certain person or group, championing them and their impact on my year, as a means of thanking them for being good to me. Hopefully this will put a smile on their faces over the Christmas period, while also celebrating the goodwill that people do across the year, not just over Christmas.

The blogs will cover a variety of people; some are people I have known throughout the year, while others I have only known for a matter of months. Some are close friends, while others are acquaintances - but ones that I hope will one day become a good friend.


The AhhGee team consists of Andy Harland, Grax, and Michael Bell. First and foremost, they do a podcast, but they have also branched out into YouTube videos and live performance throughout this year. I spent a fair bit of time in their company during the Edinburgh Festival, and it was a pleasure getting to know the former two, as well as spending time with Mike, who I've known for a couple of years. Firstly, I want to say thanks to them for letting me crash in their Edinburgh flat for a couple of days so I could stay for longer - thanks guys! They also gave me a spot during one of their Edinburgh shows, so thanks again for that, too.


I am going to start with Mike, as I've known him for longest. Throughout the year, there have been times where we've exchanged late-night ramblings, countless Simpsons quotes, and drinks. One of the most awesome things about Mike; he's the only person who, when I send a text that only reads "It stinks! It stinks! It stinks!", will know that it is a Simpsons quote from the 90s. Throw in a shared love of The Muppets and comedy, and there's the foundations of a good friendship. He's also been really lovely about this blogs, so thanks so much, mate. We're going to push ourselves to blog and make videos more come 2015, but I'll reveal more details about that in the new year. I'm really looking forward to it!



Grax is a very nice man. One thing that sums up how nice he is is some of his YouTube videos, which you can see here. The most viewed one involves him having every single hair on his body waxed/shaved, in aid of Leukemia and Lymphoma research. Considering the fact my Dad has Lymphoma cancer, seeing he had done this really touched me personally, and it epitomises the fact that Grax is a decent guy who wants to do a lot of good. There are also videos of him taking part in Run Or Dye, videos of him before and after he ran the London Marathon, and one of him dressing as a giant purple cat for World Polio Day. I really admire how much he has done to raise money for charity, and I respect him hugely for it. 


Finally, Andy. Throughout the last handful of months of 2014, every time I've put a status or Twitter out about being nervous due to a big gig, I've received a post/tweet from Andy simply saying "I believe in Tom Mayhew". I can't recall how it started, or why, but it's always a really nice thing to read, something that has helped me kick the nerves and put a smile on my face. Andy, like his two co-members of AhhGee, is also a lovely guy, which is summed up by his video I featured in the blog, in which he talks about his work with London band The Autistix.



Basically, all 3 of them are proper lovely guys, who have been nothing but friendly and kind to me over this past year. If you wish to follow them on Twitter, @AhhGeeProd is their group account, on which you can fairly easily find links to their 3 personal accounts.



Thanks for reading,

Sunday 21 December 2014

Winter Goodwill 2014: #3: President Obonjo/Benjamin Bello

I have recently been ordering, packing, and posting Christmas pressies to a small number of friends. Due to financial reasons, I have had to cut back the number of presents I am buying this year; however, when I look back at 2014, there are more people than ever that I want to express my gratitude towards. That is why I have decided to start a series of blogs entitled Winter Goodwill. In each blog, I will write about a certain person or group, championing them and their impact on my year, as a means of thanking them for being good to me. Hopefully this will put a smile on their faces over the Christmas period, while also celebrating the goodwill that people do across the year, not just over Christmas.

The blogs will cover a variety of people; some are people I have known throughout the year, while others I have only known for a matter of months. Some are close friends, while others are acquaintances - but ones that I hope will one day become a good friend.



Blog number 3 of this endeavor will be about another fellow stand-up comedian, known to most as President Obonjo. I first met this man at a gig back in September, and since then I've crossed paths with him at a couple other gigs since then, mainly because the man works incredibly hard at honing his craft. His comedy act consists of him coming on stage and telling the audience that he is the President of Lafta Republic, and that he is an African dictator. The concept of the character alone really makes me laugh, and his performance skills and writing match the quality of the idea. What epitomises his dedication to comedy is the fact that, on the first night of the Dar Papillon Comedy Club, he agreed to come and do the gig with less than 7 hours notice, and performed not just one 10 minute set, but two; one as President Obonjo, and one as Benjamin Bello, complaining to the audience that President Obonjo was stealing his life. It was the type of thing that made me want to run a night in the first place. I didn't want to run a night with just a load of brand new acts trying out material (though these nights definitely have their place), I wanted to put on shows that had things that were a bit weird and a bit different, and - most importantly - very funny. An act doing one set in character and then another berating his character for stealing his life is something I'd never seen before, so I was delighted that he did it. The fact it was the first time he'd done both acts on a single night, and it was at my club, made me very happy.

Speaking of the club, as of 2014, Leslie will sadly no longer be able to help out in the same capacity that he could before. However, President Obonjo has agreed to co-run the night with me, which I am very, very excited about. He's a great act, and a truly lovely guy, too. We talk quite frequently on Facebook about comedy and silly ideas, and he's one of those people who, when I look back over this year, think "how did I not know you before this year?" I'm really excited to gig with him loads more come 2015.


I had the pleasure of helping President Obonjo film his 2014 Christmas Message yesterday, in a town local to me, Aylesbury. I will post it below. You may notice that it is uploaded to my YouTube channel; this was his idea, as he said "I like to give thanks to people who help me", so he wanted me to do so as thanks for me filming and editing it. I genuinely was expecting a simple "thank you" message on Facebook, so the fact that he let me host it on my YouTube channel, as well as buying me a drink on the day, epitomised the fact he's a great man. Do give it a watch, it's good fun

Vote Obonjo



I also had the pleasure of meeting his 10 year-old son yesterday. As 10 year-old's go, I've never met a wittier one. I am quite sure that his son will be crowned King of Comedy within 10 years, just you wait.



Many thanks for reading,

Tom.

Winter Goodwill 2014 Home

Friday 19 December 2014

Winter Goodwill 2014: #2: Leslie Tate & Sue Hampton

I have recently been ordering, packing, and posting Christmas pressies to a small number of friends. Due to financial reasons, I have had to cut back the number of presents I am buying this year; however, when I look back at 2014, there are more people than ever that I want to express my gratitude towards. That is why I have decided to start a series of blogs entitled Winter Goodwill. In each blog, I will write about a certain person or group, championing them and their impact on my year, as a means of thanking them for being good to me. Hopefully this will put a smile on their faces over the Christmas period, while also celebrating the goodwill that people do across the year, not just over Christmas.

The blogs will cover a variety of people; some are people I have known throughout the year, while others I have only known for a matter of months. Some are close friends, while others are acquaintances - but ones that I hope will one day become a good friend.

For blog number 2, I am going to talk about a couple of people I didn't know until August; which, considering how often I converse with them now, seems absurd. By couple, I mean this this in the sense of a married couple. No, it's not Dirty Den and Angie Watts! Though that would be totally topical. The couple I am talking about are both writers, both really interesting, and both lovely. Their names are Leslie Tate and Sue Hampton.

Leslie and Sue actually knew my Mum before they knew me, having talked to her in Boots in Berkhamsted, where she works. I am unsure how long they knew each-other, but I am presuming it was a while, as it was long enough for Mum to find out they were both published authors.

I was at a low point in August; sick of being unemployed, being rejected for Tesco jobs I was far over-qualified for, and having not gotten far with my writing or stand-up, Mum decided to ask Leslie and Sue if they'd be able to help me out, as people within the industry. I initially only had contact with Leslie; after exchanging a handful or so e-mails, we decided to meet up at Dar Papillon, and discuss the possibility of hosting a comedy night there. 2 months later, the Dar Papillon Comedy Club had its first gig. I should at this point also add in a huge thanks to Salva, who owns Dar Papillon, for her enthusiasm and support during our venture. It wouldn't have happened without you.

Back in Janaury 2014, I had no desire to run and organise a night, or to MC. Frankly, I thought I would be a poor MC, and I thought I'd be awful at the promotion side of things. The fact that our first night had 37 paying audience members, and was promoted by my debut appearance in my local newspaper, as well as my first ever appearance on the radio - a BBC station, no less - is a pretty incredible thing to look back on.

This couple did more than get me 5 minutes in the limelight, though. Leslie was the first person I didn't know who I showed a video of my stand-up with the view of him giving me his opinion. All the other opinions I'd had regarding it were from people I knew, so this was a big step that could have backfired. I can recall thinking defensively to myself as I sent him the link - at a point where I didn't really know him, so there was no reason for him to be anything but honest - my mind saying "ha, what does this person know about comedy?", anticipating the slating before my message was even in the Outbox.

However, he enjoyed my style of comedy, and found it really interesting. He completed supported me chasing my creative dreams - at a time where I couldn't get a job at Tesco to fund travel to gigs, and where Mum had asked me "Is this comedy thing just a dream? Is it realistic?"; his support, as a fellow creative, artistic type, was a beacon of light when the rest of the world was being horrible, when I started to wonder if I was wasting my time and energy.

September-December have been my most gig-heavy months to date, and have seen me advance in two competitions, MC for the first time, and start being happy calling myself a comedian, instead of thinking "I'm just a guy who does comedy every now and then". Leslie and Sue definitely deserve my sincerest thanks for their roles during this time. They also told my Mum that they think I'm talented, which finally helped sway my parents into thinking "maybe he's not wasting his time"; something that was obviously helped by the aforementioned promotional appearances. Their passion and commitment for helping and supporting creative people (including running variety nights with a huge mix of talented people), and their understanding that artistic-types put their creations ahead of money and comfort, was a much needed antidote to the job-obsessed world I had found myself trapped in.


Outside of comedy things, Leslie has also been very supportive when discussing general life events and troubles, and I truly consider both him and Sue friends of mine. It's also blooming great to know more people who support The Green Party, and have excellent ethics. I also admire both of them incredibly for their individualism. They are just awesome human-beings.


You can get an eBook of Sue's latest release here, if you are a Kindle kid. You can also find Sue on Twitter - @SueAuthor - while Leslie is LSTateAuthor.


Thanks for reading,

Tom.

Winter Goodwill 2014 Home

Winter Goodwill 2014: #1: Matthew Courtnell

I have recently been ordering, packing, and posting Christmas pressies to a small number of friends. Due to financial reasons, I have had to cut back the number of presents I am buying this year; however, when I look back at 2014, there are more people than ever that I want to express my gratitude towards. That is why I have decided to start a series of blogs entitled Winter Goodwill. In each blog, I will write about a certain person or group, championing them and their impact on my year, as a means of thanking them for being good to me. Hopefully this will put a smile on their faces over the Christmas period, while also celebrating the goodwill that people do across the year, not just over Christmas.

The blogs will cover a variety of people; some are people I have known throughout the year, while others I have only known for a matter of months. Some are close friends, while others are acquaintances - but ones that I hope will one day become a good friend.



For this first blog, I am going to talk about a fellow stand-up comedian on the circuit called Matthew Courtnell. I first met Matthew when we were gigging together in September 2013 at a We Are Funny Project new act/new material gig. Despite September 2013 being a number of years after my first ever gig (which was way back in 2010), the night in question was only my 15th gig; this was due to a mixture of circumstances, financial problems, and - most crucially - self-confidence issues. It is fair to say that I hadn't really got going in terms of regular gigging. However, this night helped kick the latter issue in the butt.

It was the first time I left the stage thinking "fuck me, I just had a great gig". While for most comedians their 15th gig would be within less than 2 months of their first gig, the fact that this gig came so long after I first stepped on stage as a shy, terrified 18 year-old back in 2010 made it mean so much more to me. It was an incredible feeling, having acts come up to me during the interval saying "really great set, man"; a feeling that was only bettered when I was named as the best new act of the night after a crowd vote, winning that night's "I Am Funny Award". I can still remember the fact that I couldn't stop smiling for minutes afterwards, and that my face was all tingly because I was so utterly delighted. As someone who has always been quiet, shy, with low self-esteem, to receive the first bit of validation of my potential in the stand-up comedy world really flipped my perspective of what I could achieve.

It wasn't just about being crowned the best act of the night, though. What made me just as happy was talking to Matthew after the gig, and him saying to me "I was cheering so loud for you". The fact that someone enjoyed my weird, awkward style of comedy so much was completely new to me, but it felt bloody lovely. What made it even more lovely was the fact that I respected Matthew as a performer and writer after seeing him gig for the first time that evening. Of the many reasons that I really like Matthew is that we have a fair few similarities; we're both quite socially awkward, we both have some pro-feminist material, we're both naturally quite low-key, low-status acts. He has better hair, though.


But enough about when I met Matthew in 2013; why am I choosing him as my first choice to be featured in my Christmas Goodwill 2014 list? Well, in May 2014, he got in touch with me, and asked if I'd like a spot at his new comedy night he was running. This was the first ever time that someone had ever invited me to be on a bill at a gig. For those who don't know, getting gigs while starting up as a stand-up comedian involves sending out a ton of e-mails to promoters, basically begging for stage-time with no evidence that shows them whether you're funny or not. To have someone say to me "hey, I want you on my gig" was another massive confidence boost, which helped me reach a level of confidence that enabled me to do more gigs in 2014 than I'd done in the previous 3 years combined by far.


More than being someone who helped me believe in myself as a comedian, Matthew Courtnell is a really nice guy. However, I don't want people to think that impacts my view of him as a stand-up; there can be really nice people who are poor stand-ups, or horrible people that are great stand-ups. With that in mind, I'd like to clarify that I think he is a great stand-up. He has some lovely pieces of writing, as well as being an interesting, compelling performer. What sums up my belief in him as a writer and performer is that he was the very first act I approached when I was looking for a 10 minute spot for my comedy night I was organising in October.

Talking to him in late-November, I think he's at a similar stage to me, in that we both are experimenting with different personas/voices on stage as it stands; what I do believe, though, is that once he's nailed down what he wants to do, he'll be a fantastic act.

Here is a video of a set by him below. If you fancy following him on Twitter, his handle is CourtComedy - though his last tweet was way back during the Edinburgh Festival. I like to imagine his timeline was frozen by the weather...




So there we have it. I thought this blog series would be a nice way of me saying "thanks" to some awesome people who have played a part in my 2014, though only now have I realised it might make some people feel a bit uncomfortable...I am hoping it will make those featured feel "aww, I'm a good person who had a positive impact this year" more than anything, though. It's nice to celebrate people for just being nice people, I think.



Thanks for reading. I am going to try and do another of these tomorrow.

Tom.


Winter Goodwill 2014 Home

Winter Goodwill 2014: Introduction

I have recently been ordering, packing, and posting Christmas pressies to a small number of friends. Due to financial reasons, I have had to cut back the number of presents I am buying this year; however, when I look back at 2014, there are more people than ever that I want to express my gratitude towards. That is why I have decided to start a series of blogs entitled Winter Goodwill. In each blog, I will write about a certain person or group, championing them and their impact on my year, as a means of thanking them for being good to me. Hopefully this will put a smile on their faces over Christmastime, while also celebrating the goodwill that people do across the year, not just over Christmas.

The blogs will cover a variety of people; some are people I have known throughout the year, while others I have only known for a matter of months. Some are close friends, while others are acquaintances - but ones that I hope will one day become a good friend.

The first entry will be up later today, with hopefully at least a handful more entries being posted through December. Keep your peepers peeled!

Thanks for reading,

Tom.


Winter Goodwill 2014 #1: Matthew Courtnell

Winter Goodwill 2014 #2: Leslie Tate and Sue Hampton

Winter Goodwill 2014 #3: President Obonjo/Benjamin Bello

Winter 2014 #4: The AhhGee team

Wednesday 5 November 2014

Music to your ears



I have started a playlist made up of songs I like, all of which are by artists who aren't massive names. There is a mix of people I know and unsigned artists I love - specifically, ones who make me think "this song deserves far more than 57 plays on SoundCloud". There are a fair few singer-songwriters with guitars, but there's also a rapper and a band.



If anyone has any recommendations of artists/song I could add, feel free to throw them my way. This was mainly inspired by me noticing that some artists I really like have less SoundCloud followers than me - despite the fact I'm not a musician, just some guy who made a few comedy related audio clips I wanted to share. This is silly. I'd like these musicians to reach more ears.

https://soundcloud.com/tommayhew/sets/songs-by-artists-you-might-not



Thanks for reading,


Tom.

Thursday 23 October 2014

More news. Roll-up, roll-up.


Bloody hell, it's all news, news, news at Tom Mayhew HQ.

In exciting news, I am going to be on the local radio next week with Leslie Stuart Tate, as they want to interview us about the Dar Papillon Comedy Club. It's a BBC local radio station, so it's a real one. With a studio and things like that. My first reaction when Leslie said they wanted to interview us was "oh...that's weird". I'm not used to this.

In more boring (but probably more important to people in "the real world") news, I have an interview tomorrow morning for a position as a seasonal employee at The Royal Mail. The vacancy is listed as being the night shift, so why they have told me to come in for an interview at 9am is beyond me. It's quite annoying, frankly.

I'll have to get up stupidly early to get the bus, meaning I once again get the joy of wearing a suit on the bus. Oh yes, I'll be wearing an outfit that is supposed to stand for importance and wealth...Firstly, I am travelling on the bus as I have never been able to come close to afford driving lessons, never mind a car. Secondly, I am travelling to an interview for a minimum wage job.

On the plus-side, it could lead to me finally becoming employed, but at the same time it could foil my chances of gigging, being a night job...Not that I'm expecting to get it - I didn't get a part-time position at Tesco just last month, so I'm entirely grounded regarding my chances of getting any job. The way things are going right now in the job-hunt side of things, I'd probably sell my 3 A Levels for £100 each if such a thing were possible. I'd sell my GCSEs for £10 each, or all 11 for £100. I'll throw in my certificate for being on the Gifted and Talented register for 50p.

Not that I want to sound ungrateful at all for the nice creative things that have been going well recently - not at all, it's been fantastic. It's just a bit frustrating to be in your local paper for the first time for doing something interesting and exciting, but on the same day having to send an e-mail inquiring about a vacancy at PoundWorld.

If someone could pay me for just being a nice person, that would be lovely. "Professional nice guy Tom Mayhew". I'd love that job. I've got tons of experience that makes me perfect for the role.


Thanks for reading,

Tom.

Wednesday 22 October 2014

I am in the local paper.

http://www.berkhamstedtoday.co.uk/what-s-on/arts-culture/tom-leads-new-comedy-club-1-6361571


Oooh look, I am in the local paper. This is the first time I've been written about by someone who isn't me. It's exciting.

I just went and bought a copy of the Tring/Berkhamsted Gazette myself. It's a very weird feeling, buying a newspaper purely to read about yourself.

This has made me feel a bit nervous, to be honest. I'm not a massive fan of attention anyway, and I was a bit worried regarding how some people would react. But then I thought deeper about why I was worried; the people I mainly worried about were "those people from school". The ones who didn't like me, and took the mickey out of me for being weird, different and quiet. Why did I not want them to see this? Surely this is the perfect way of blowing a massive raspberry in their face, the fact that I am now *using* my weirdness and awkwardness to gain a tiny measure of success? Not to mention the fact that I am doing so while being funny, which was the exact thing they thought that *they* were and *I* was not. I stick my tongue out to you, "cool kids from school".

Ultimately, I think this has made me realise that it no longer matters what they think. School was, practically, a lifetime ago; we are all now very different people. Perhaps things going quite well over the last 2 months comedy-wise is what I needed to finally exorcise those demons, and stop caring what anyone would think. It feels like I've gained a bit of proof that, on my day, I have something interesting, funny and worthwhile to listen to. Having a few examples of that helps to shut-down any long-standing doubts installed by people who didn't even know me.

Also, the quotes "by" me were not written by me; they were written by the lovely Leslie Stuart Tate, who co-runs Dar Papillon Comedy Club with me, and is the man who contacted The Gazette. In a sense, he's acted like something of a manager for me over the last couple of months - not for money, or fame, but purely because he's a lovely person who believes in me and wants me to do well. That truly means the world to me. Thank you also to Cynthia Nolan, who has also been fighting my corner recently, and who also contacted The Gazette. Your support is truly appreciated. If anyone is happy for me that I'm in the local paper, go like Gorilla Dreams(Leslie's wife's latest children's book) and Shoot Me Studios (Cynthia's photography studio). It would be nice to get them a handful of likes each to say thanks for their kindness.

Most importantly, hopefully this will lead some people to come along to this: 30th October - First night of Dar Papillon Comedy Club. It would be lovely to have a nice audience there, especially as I have some of my very favourite acts - and, frankly, humans - on the bill, and I don't want to let them down by dragging them out for a small audience.

If you want to grab a copy of the paper, The Gazette is only 80p. I'm on page 56, I believe.

Thanks for reading,

Tom.

Tuesday 30 September 2014

September dreams, September nightmares.

September was a strange month. It was like a rollercoaster, but without the extortionate pricing and ridiculously long queues. Two examples encapsulate this:

September 4th

I had my first gig of the month booked. On the way to the gig, I checked my e-mails; one of these e-mails informed me that I had not got through to the interview stage for a job I applied for. It was a job at a well-respected firm. It wouldn't be my dream job - it would probably be quite mundane and simple - but it would be at the very least working for a company who care for their employees. I was frustrated to have fallen at the first hurdle.

The gig, however, was brilliant, for numerous reasons. Firstly, it was a night organised by David Earl, the man behind one of my favourite comedians: the brilliant Brian Gittins. A few months ago, "Brian" had posted on Facebook, asking if any new comedians wanted an open spot at his night. I jumped at the chance, and was lucky enough to be one of the first 3 to respond, meaning I got a spot at the first Gittins to Know You show. I was delighted enough to be on the same bill as Brian, but the rest of bill was made up of Adam Hess, Holly Burn and Harry Hill. Anyone who knows comedy, and knows what sort of comedians I love, knows how highly I rate these names. Not only was I on the same bill as bloody brilliant comics who I really admire and respect, but it was the biggest audience I'd performed in front of. 110 people. My previous best was the 70-ish who gonged me off after 2 minutes 20 seconds at Up the Creek back in May. This gig was far more successful for me, however. It was a great gig, that I really enjoyed. Any demons telling me "you can't gig to an audience of more than 60 people" were exorcised in those 5 minutes. Not to mention the fact I got to see properly brilliant comedians for free. It's one of the most beautiful perks of being an open spot.

Wednesday 24th

I was due to have an interview at my local Tesco, a job I thought I'd have a good chance at getting, because my brother works there. However, I couldn't sleep until 7am, meaning I overslept - my interview was due to be at 11am. I woke up at 11:07, and immediately phoned the lady who arranged the interview. I was very annoyed at myself, even though my good friend PDT correctly pointed out that it wasn't my fault that I couldn't sleep. I even put across the point in my rearranged interview the next day that two of the reasons I couldn't sleep were due to unemployment and money troubles, which getting a job would fix.

That night, I took part in a Laughing Horse New Act of the Year heat. The only other time I had entered this competition was for my very first gig, and since then it has been one of my biggest personal goals to do well in this particular competition. My set was well received, and I felt very happy leaving the stage; this didn't stop my heart from racing while I was waiting for the results to be released. If the top 5 went through, I'd have felt more relaxed, but only the top 2 - out of 14 comedians - were to go through. I've set this up to show how contrasting my days have been, so you know that, yes, I managed to get through, finishing 2nd to Gary Knightley, who fully deserved his place in the semi-finals. It is the most proud I've ever felt of myself.



For a long time, I've not felt fully comfortable referring to myself as a stand-up comedian. I've always leaned towards "I gig a bit", "I've done a few gigs", things like that. But now, I feel happy calling myself that, because I've proven to myself that I can do it. Only on a relatively tiny scale, sure, but I can still do it on that scale. Which is fantastic.



Ultimately, though, the money and job troubles are still there. It's a very strange feeling; one night, you're on top of the world, with a room full of people saying "well done", with most of the comedians probably thinking "I wish I was him (purely because I got through)"; the next morning, you're struggling through an interview for a job working the minimum wage - a minimum wage job you fail to get.




Anyway, onto October. October sees the return of Vlogtober from last year, so keep your eye on my Twitter for links to videos and all that jazz. I also have a ton of gigs booked in. It should be knackering, but fun.

Thanks for reading,

Tom.

Friday 19 September 2014

How easy is it to make money from music on the internet?

Can you make money from music on the internet?

This is a question I have spent a long time pondering. Theoretically, anyone can make a song, put it on the internet's many music sales/streaming services, and within 6 months have made £50,000 due to it going viral. But I have always wondered how easy it is for the everyday, normal person to make money through the avenue of paid downloads/streams.

So, on 12th November 2013, I uploaded a song to Spotify, Amazon, iTunes, and all other websites that sell digital music. It wasn't a song by me, per se...it was a mash-up of two pieces of dialogue mixed over a techno beat. The pieces were an impression of Waluigi by someone who is great at impressions and voice-overs that I found on Fiverr a while ago...and my friend Jon's impression of Walugi. The song shows them both saying the name Walugi again and again, with 'Waluigi' bemoaning Jon for stealing his voice and copying his nose. The song is listed as being by 'Jon Reynolds', with a title of 'Waluigi Yeah Yeah Yeah'. This is the wonderfully ill-fitting artwork I chose:



It's ridiculous. As songs go, I daresay it is probably in the bottom 50 on Spotify. So why did I bother?

The first - and main reason, if I'm honest - is the fact I find it funny. A song that, previously, only our friendship group of 6 knew of was now on Spotify, where the whole world could find it by typing in the name of a low-popularity character from the Mario franchise. The brilliant thing? Some people have. So far, since November (up to June, the latest reports available), the song has been streamed 224 times. Just the fact that there will be some confused Americans somewhere thinking "what the fuck is this shit?", while the sound of my friend Jon doing a duet with a videogame character fills their house...I love that.

There was also - as I said earlier - the experiment aspect. Sure, this song wouldn't have any promotion; it isn't by an established (or even real) artist; it's quite shit. However, it does feature the name of a minor character from the massively popular Mario franchise, so I wondered if this would drive enough traffic to it so it could turn a profit.

Let's look at the numbers, from November - June:

224 streams + 2 sales
=
$2.64

So, absurdly, I have made $2.64 on this ridiculous song over the last 8 months. To upload it to iTunes/Spotify/Amazon etc., it cost me $9.99 for a year. So, at this current rate of earnings, I am going to turn a loss - I daresay rightly so, if I'm honest.

But to go back to my original question - can you make money from music on the internet? Definitely. While this particular track isn't going to turn a profit, the fact that even this track is on target to make back 40% of the very minor fees for uploading the song shows how easy it is. If someone uploaded a song that they promoted, was people could relate to, that actually wasn't shit, then I reckon it would not be too hard to make your investment back. Alternatively, you could just put the name of a more popular character from the Mario franchise in the title, and you'll probably make the money back anyway.

There is still the chance that this song will make it's money back, of course. All I need is for Waluigi to be a contestant on X Factor this weekend, and I'm quids-in.

This brings me onto my next point; my cunning plan, if you will. Everyone knows that people have the ability to be impatient, silly, or just plain stupid. With this in mind, I am currently debating whether I will follow through the following idea:

On 17th December - or whenever the X Factor final is - I will release a song that is "by" the favourite to win the show. I will give it the generic title of "Winner's Song", with it just being the words "Simon Cowell is a poo" looped over some guitar. Upon the winner being crowned, people will rush to download the song, see their favourite's name alongside "Winner's Song", and click download/stream/GIVE IT TO ME NOW. All it takes is 1/10,000 people who download the winners song to buy this accidentally, and I'll score roughly 500-1300 sales. Even if it is a tenth less than that, it's still pretty funny, and will more than turn a profit.

I am unsure of the legal/moral ramifications of this, as it stands. There is a precedent for people releasing misleading song-titles; in 2012, a week before Maroon 5's song Payphone was released, an artist called Precision Tunes reached #9 in the UK Singles Chart after releasing a cover called Payphone (Maroon 5 Tribute).

Whether I do it or not is hard to call. I may have to find some way around it; perhaps giving the artist a middle name, so it isn't a direct copy? So it is misleading enough to trick people, but not so misleading enough to trick people who actually pay attention. To be fair, I am fairly sure most people who watch The X Factor do not pay attention to much, otherwise they'd realise it has been the same the last 10 years. There's a duo in this year's series called Blonde Electric (who tabloids have already dubbed 'The Female Jedward'), who will get far in the live shows at expensive of far more talented acts, and people will moan "I can't believe it", despite the fact that Chico, Jedward, and countless others have done it before.

In my mind, I've already envisaged some people leaving angry comments about getting "ripped off"; people furious that they have given $0.70 to an unemployed guy in his early 20s instead of a billionaire who treats people like commodities. Maybe pointing that out would put it all into perspective for a few.

If anyone was any legal/moral thoughts about this plan, let me know! I'm currently enjoying it as a wistful silly idea, regardless.

Thanks for reading,

Tom.

Monday 15 September 2014

3:38am ramblings. 16th September 2014

Hello there. I am up at 3:38am, as this title suggests.

My mind is racing, nervous, full of worry. This is a usual occurrence for me; most nights are like this. I have spent a lot of time recently feeling extremely stressed out, which has caused me to not sleep well, get a load of ulcers, and other illnesses such as coughs and colds are things I am afflicted with very often. Quite frankly, there is a shit-load of stressful things about my life, and I am not coping well. YAY!

Tonight (well, this morning), there were numerous things on my mind preventing me from sleeping. I am going to type them out in an attempt to calm my mind down; for this morning, at least. In no particular order:

1. My current employment situation. 

This is a very frustrating aspect of my life. I have tried many different avenues to change the fact I am unemployed; last month, on the 19th of August, I went for a job interview at Tesco, in Aylesbury. I was the best dressed person there, being the only one wearing a suit and tie. I gave the best answers as part of the group interview; the 7 of us that were there were asked to go out into the store and "pick one product that represents you". I picked a box of Cadbury's Miniature Heroes, and said "this product represents me because it is sweet, nice, versatile, and will put a smile on your face". I both displayed my positive qualities, while also communicating why I'd be good at the job. In contrast, one girl said "I have picked Iron Bru, because it is Scottish and orange, like me". Not to mention the fact that a man there said - in a very deadpan way - "I have picked Lucozade because I like it...and because I'm energetic", which was greeting with 5 seconds of pure awkwardness in the room. As I left the interview - being the first one to make the effort to shake the hands of all of the current Tesco employees in the room, thanking each for their time - one of them (who worked in the position I was applying for, though wasn't in charge of employment) even said "see you soon". While this could have just been her usual polite greeting, I was - understandably, and rarely for me - feeling confident, so I presumed this was a sign that she recognised my good chances of being employed. While I haven't heard back officially either way, they initially said "we'll contact you within a couple of days", then 10 days, then 2 weeks. It's not going to happen.

2. Lack of creative output/progress

I guess this is why I woke up, came downstairs, and booted up the PC. Partly because I had some stand-up comedy ideas swirling around my head that I wanted to write out so I don't lose them, but also because -
like every night for a long time - I have spent time worrying about my lack of progress, output, and achievement creatively. Granted, I know part of this is due to my employment situation - and the high levels of worry and stress caused by the uncertainty of pretty much every aspect of my life - but it's still a nagging concern.

3. Money, money, money.

This goes hand-in-hand with the unemployment. I don't have an income, so I am constantly worried about what's going to happen when my bank account runs out. I've only been able to get through the last month or so due to some utterly lovely people I know just simply giving me money to help me out, which I cannot thank them enough for. But even when I know that I have enough money in my account to last me the next 2 months (for example - this is a rare occurrence, to tell you the truth), there is always the very real worry about how I am going to be able to afford to live happily over the following months. There's also many daily causes of frustration due to my lack of income/funds. There are times that I spend 50p in a charity shop, and find myself stressing over it, thinking "could I really afford to spend that? God Tom, you're being an idiot, why did you spend 50p on that thing you don't need to live? You should only spend money on things you absolutely, 100% need to exist, nothing frivolous at all". Earlier on today, I bidded 1p on a Smash Bros. 3DS demo code on eBay. The official demo is out September 19th, but for 1p I could have got it 4 days earlier. It is the game I am most hyped about for over 3 years (since inFamous 2 in 2011), and I really want to play it. But there was part of my brain that was saying to me "you moron Tom! Why did you bid 1p on that, when you get the demo for free in 4 days?! What a waste of money, you dickhead". Over 1p. I didn't win the listing in the end, as it happens - it sold for £4. I'd rather just wait for the demo to be released in a few days, to be honest.

But then, there's also the side of me that can think "hey Tom! Things aren't going well for you generally, but you wrote a nice thing/had a nice gig/made a good video; why not reward yourself by buying an album on Amazon?" - and yes, a £9 album is genuinely, 100% an extravagance for me right now. I just want to be able to earn money myself, even if it is just £60 a week. Heck, that would be enough for me to be able to do the things I want to do in life most weeks, quite frankly. Over the last 21 months, sadly, that has been too much to ask.

4. General depressive thoughts

Oh, you know the kind. "What's the point of this all?", "why do I keep bothering when things aren't getting at all better?", all of those things.






All 4 of these things all work together to make each-other more powerful, annoyingly, like some Dickish Power Ranger Morphin' Time. On the downside, I'll only get around 4 and a half hours before I need to get up (just my luck before my first early morning in weeks, eh?). At least I've written around 5 minutes of stand-up material to test in a Word Document, and this blog. That's something.

Thanks for reading.

Tom.

Monday 25 August 2014

25th August 2014 - Edinburgh Fringe Festival 2014

Well, here it is. My review of Edinburgh.

My trip to Edinburgh took place across just over a week, starting on the 8th August, and ultimately ending on the 17th August. So why do I do? Do I write and release a blog while all the events are still fresh in my mind? Do I do so while the shows are all still on, so the recommendations actually have some weight? No. I wait until the day after the Fringe has finished, when everyone else is releasing their Fringe recap blogs on the same day. Great work, Tom!

There is one recommendation I can throw your way, however. A show that I really loved, entitled Danny Mayo Presents: The Land of Giants. It stars two members of The Spook School, a band I have declared my love for on numerous occasions. Not only are they talented musicians; they are also very funny comedians. This is summed up by their promotional material for the show:

Adam is the the runner-up, Chortle Student Comedy Award 2013; "star in the making" - Steve Bennett. 
Anna is "quite witty" - ThreeWeeks.


Their show was a free show, in a venue that can only be described as "out of the way", in that wonderfully quirky way that many great Fringe shows are. It was a brilliant hour, full of wit, silliness, charm, fun, and a song about onions. I genuinely don't know what more you could possibly want from a comedy show. If you are in or near London, I strongly suggest you pop along to their London performance of their show, details of which can be found by clicking here. Not only are they doing their hour, but another member of the band, Niall, is also doing his show. While I haven't seen his show, it should be pointed out that he does have a mustache, so bear that in mind. Tickets are only £3 in advance, which is an absolute snip. Sadly, I cannot make the gig (I am gigging in Brighton on the same night), but if I were free, I'd have already bought my ticket. There's only 23 tickets left, and it is on September 3rd. Get to it!

As a final note about The Land of Giants (the official name of their double-act), I got the pleasure - along with Sam, who came with me to most of the things I saw in Edinburgh - of hanging out with both Anna and Adam after their show, sharing drinks and laughs. It was lovely. They are very nice. It was a rare occurrence, in that we were four awkward people around a table, but it felt comfortable, despite the fact that we'd - bar some Twitter exchanges here and there - just met. The magic of Edinburgh.


Above is a photo of me and Sam both wearing The Spook School T-shirts, taken by Anna.


From our favourite free show, to our favourite paid show: Will Seaward's Spooky Midnight Ghost Stories. A midnight show, where Will Seaward - you guessed it - told ghost stories. I've read at least 3 reviews that compare him favourably to Brian Blessed, and I'd have to agree with them, for three reasons: his booming voice, his large stature, and the fact he's bloody hilarious. As we entered the venue, he greeted each audience member, saying "enter at your own free will"; once the room started to fill, he said to the audience "are you comfortable?", before starting to turn away, turning back, and following that question with "are you ghost comfortable?" - it set the silly and hilarity bars high early on, and they stayed there. His stories were peppered with silliness, non-sequiturs, and - most importantly - massive laughs, and I really mean massive. Of all the shows I've seen at the Fringe over my 3 trips, this was the one with the biggest laughs, and at a very consistent rate. Our enjoyment of the show is encapsulated by the fact that it was the first time I've seen a stand-up show in Edinburgh twice; the second time, we gave him a standing ovation. I'm not sure if he's a big enough name to tour the show far-and-wide yet, but if you find yourself in Edinburgh next year - and he's doing a show - make sure you see him.



I did see another show twice, but it wasn't a stand-up show: Mark Watson's Comedywealth Games. I really loved. Not only was it an hour of solid laughs, but it felt like a proper one-off Fringe event each night. The concept of the show was that 3 comedians are pitted against each-other, each representing a Commonwealth nation, and have to compete against each-other at numerous "sports". The audience is split into 3, with each third supporting a comedian assigned by Watson. These sports ranged from the 100m sack race (including having to pack the 'sacks' - in this case, sleeping bags - back into their drawstring bag to win the race), to "The Admin Pentathlon", where comedians (along with an audience volunteer) had to do 7 tasks all within 5 minutes. These tasks included sifting through a big bag of mixed vegetables and separating them into their separate veg; pairing socks; giving a makeover; texting a message to someone from the country you're representing (with the winner being whoever got a response first); and seeing who can eat the most yoghurts while running on a treadmill for 1 minute. During my 2nd viewing of this show, my friend and fellow comedian, Adele Cliff, volunteered to help Andrew Maxwell. Needless to say, they won, largely due to Adele.

A photo I took just before the Pentathlon started.


The best event (no offense, Adele!), however, was the final event of the show. This event involved the comedians having to put as many layers of clothes from the audience on as possible during 1 minute. This led to comedians running into the audience begging for clothes, people throwing clothes towards the comedians on stage, people getting up from their seats to hang scarves, belts, bras and everything else on any piece of their comedian that is free, like some beautiful human Buckaroo. The rules dictated that they got 1 point for a typical piece of clothing, and 2 points for underwear. On the first show I went to, Jason Byrne received 30 points (beating the previous record of 16 by a massive margin) - without any underwear. I think the photo says it all.

Keep in mind he stood like this for around 3 minutes while the other comedians' clothe-count was established. It's fair to say he was rather boiling.


There was another show that stood out for similar reasons to the Comedywealth Games; another show that was a mixture of silly, madcap comedy, fueled by comedians competing against each-other. McNeil and Pamphilon Go 8-Bit was an interactive videogame show. It involved the audience being split into 2 - one side supporting McNeil, one side Pamphilon - as each host was represented by a comedian competing against another comedian at various videogames, including Mario Kart Double Dash, Street Fighter, and Bomberman. The string in the tail? For whichever team's representative that lost, the respective host had to do a forfeit. My favourite of these involved McNeil playing the first level of Pac-Man, something that he managed to complete in around 57 seconds. Easy enough? Sure. But then, all of the 100-strong members of team Pamphilon were given a Mini Cheddar to hold up, and McNeil's challenge was to run up the aisle, through the audience, and eat every Mini Cheddar - then run back to the stage - within 57 seconds. Amazingly, he did it. As a lover of Mini Cheddars, Pac-Man, and eating too much, it was one of my genuine highlights of the Fringe.


I didn't just watch comedy shows, though. I made a conscious effort to make sure I saw a nice variety of shows, one of which was EastEnd Cabaret: Sexual Tension. I've never been to a cabaret show before, so this was completely new to me. But y'know what? It was good fun. I enjoyed the songs, the forward nature of the act, and there were some funny jokes along the way. I don't think it'll be the last cabaret show I see at the Fringe. Another show that was different from my normal type of show was Morgan and West: Parlour Tricks, a magic show with a sprinkling of comedy. It was genuinely impressive to watch, even as someone who is only a very casual fan of magic. The narrative of the show was well-written, too; A very nicely put-together hour.

There were a huge number of other shows I loved at the Fringe; Ray Peacock's show was brilliant, as you'd expect. On the final night, I watched Comedy Countdown, which - even though it is "only" comedians spending 90 minutes playing Countdown - was genuinely enjoyable throughout, no doubt thanks largely to the strength of the comedic talents of the host and regulars, respectively. 

I am not going to go in-depth about any more shows, though; there was one man who recommended at least 30 of his friends to me while we were chatting before going into a gig, and I stopped listening after the 4th, at most. There's only so many recommendations you can listen to!

Here is a photo of my hoody, with a load of badges that I got while at the Fringe attached to it.


As for the performing side of the Fringe, things didn't go to plan for me. I feel that I need to establish myself on the circuit first throughout this year, so I can actually get gigs that are worth doing next Fringe, instead of gigs that have audiences in the single digit numbers. One of the gigs I did do was for my friends at the AhhGee Podcast as part of their live show, which you can find here if you so wish. It also features Loretta Maine, Wilfredo and El Britanico.

Lastly, the Fringe was brilliant because I got to spend time with so many lovely people. Thanks to Sam, PDT, Stainbank, Adele, Michael Bell (DING!), Andy, Grax, Adam and Anna. You're all brilliant. Without you, it would have been 90% less fun.

There you have it. I hope you enjoyed finding out about my Edinburgh Fringe experience of 2014. Feel free to leave comments, ask questions, and/or share this blog if you liked it!

Thanks for reading,

Tom.




A load of flyers from some of the shows I enjoyed. I wanted one from every show that I saw, but sadly I couldn't get flyers from all of them. There's also a CD of the soundtrack from The Land of Giants' show.

Thursday 21 August 2014

21st August 2014 - Update

Oh, hey! It's the blogging guy, who said he'd write every day FOR THE REST OF HIS LIFE! How's it been going, writer-man? Managed to keep it up?

Of course I haven't. Firstly, writing was put to one-side for the time I was in Edinburgh; initially, I was planning to attempt to keep up the habit of writing daily while up there, but I very quickly realised that it would take an hour out of each day, so would it inhibit on my enjoyment of my time up there. Moreover, this would make the blogs either half-arsed, or I would be annoyed at myself for writing them, a feeling which would seep into the writing itself.

I came home from Edinburgh on the Sunday just gone, with my plan being that I would write-up a blog detailing my Edinburgh experience (highlights, lowlights, and most importantly: best food). Said blog was due to be written when I was less tired (who'd have thought that 9 days of late-nights, walking 10+ miles every day, and a 6 hour journey home would leave you feeling knackered?); basically, that was Sunday out of the question for my day to write a long blog.

Then we come to Monday. On Monday afternoon, I received a phone call asking if I was free to come to job interview the next day. The interview was just for a part-time job in a supermarket, so don't get too excited (though it would be a big deal for me to get it, quite frankly). I felt it went really well, which is something I haven't felt after an interview previously. They said they'd get back to me "within 2 days". I took this to mean Thursday, but they could also mean Friday. Despite the fact I felt it went well, I'm still feeling quite worried and nervous today. It wouldn't be my dream job, sure, but it would be a job that is perfect to do alongside my writing ambitions.

Basically, I've not been in a "oh, let's write" mood recently, because there have been more important things to focus on over the last couple of weeks. I'll get back to it soon.

Tom.

Thursday 7 August 2014

8th August 2014 - Give me a job, please.

I have been unemployed officially since January 2013. Yes, that's correct; 17 months. Before that, I went to University for a year, before ultimately dropping out due to depression. Why did I go to University? Because I had been unemployed for a year, and I was sick of it.

That is 31 months/over 2 and a half years of my life that I have been unemployed. This is not my fault (as much as I let it destroy my self-esteem constantly); there just aren't the jobs. Or, rather, there are jobs...but for everyone one job, there are 20 people who are desperate to work applying for it. Case in point below:



As you can see, there was a job I saw advertised on Facebook earlier today, in the group Everything Tring. This is a local group that mainly revolves around my hometown, Tring, and the group has steadily grown to a membership that is just over 4500.

The job advertised was for a part-time cleaner. You will notice that this job is both part-time, and a cleaner. No disrespect to either cleaners or people who work part-time - if I had been in time, I'd have applied myself - but it isn't a top-end job. Far from it. Even for a part-time job, it isn't many hours, being advertised as approximately 12 hours a month. Yet, as you can see, there are at least 8 names who are interested in this position within 2 hours of it being advertised - and these are (mostly) just the names who didn't read the job advertisement correctly, so responded using Facebook instead of e-mailing. Despite this, the job was filled -within 3 hours. Yes. 3 hours. That is how quickly even very low-end jobs go.

Let's re-cap:

12 hours per month.

8 applicants.

Gone in 3 hours.


I do understand that this job would be the ideal job for some; perhaps someone who is a part-time student, or someone who just wants a little extra cash on the side. But it sums up perfectly how desperate the job market is.

Some jobs I've failed to get:
  • Seasonal job at Marks and Spencers (after filling out a hour-long application form.)
  • A local cleaning job, of which there a mere 6 hours a week were on offer
  • Retail jobs at Boots, Tesco, ASDA, Sainsbury's
  • Various office admin jobs
  • Various reception jobs
  • A call-centre
  • A garden centre

Basically, jobs I am over-qualified for, sure, but ultimately ones that I am far more than able to do. They might argue I am under-experienced, perhaps...But does it really take that long for someone to pick up how to stack shelves, or clean a floor with a mop? Especially if that person has qualifications that prove they are capable of doing far more than that? Yet, the only way one can gain experience nowadays is via voluntary work or trials which - for some employers - can last for 3 months of unpaid work, for 40 hours, without a guarantee of a job at the end of it. If I look at my school friends, the vast majority of them have either suffered periods of unemployment, or have found jobs through their family. I don't really have any contacts.

It's very annoying that I cannot find work myself.

Fuck it...annoying is an understatement. Sometimes, it can drive me to deep depressive spells. Other times, the lack of income leaves me questioning what I would do for money...would I sell my dignity? My integrity? Beloved possessions? In my current financial state, I fear that I would...if the price was right. That's what really worries me.

Thanks for reading.

Tom.

P.S. £10 for my last Rolo and a high-five? Anyone?

7th August 2014 - A poem entitled "Insecure".

Sad poem alert. Don't read if you don't like sad stuff.

Insecure

You look in the mirror and analyse your reflection,
You hate yourself because you don't see perfection.
Imperfections are normal.
You know this.
Fucking hell. You bloody know this.
But it still hurts. You're still sad.
You still feel the hate for your appearance, despite hating what that hate stands for.
Scars caused by insecurity; scars that lead to more insecurity.

We live in a world where there are people who would trade 10 years of their lifetime to lose 5 stone;
Fuck, some of them do.
It's stupid. So utterly stupid.
You hate the fact they do it, that they're made to do it,
That people can't be happy living as imperfections.
Yet, given the chance, you'd struggle to not do the same.
You have loved the imperfections of others, but hate imperfections of your own.
Despite knowing how ridiculous it is.

Illogical emotions.
But real emotions.
Anger, sadness, pain.

Most of all, deep in your heavy heart,
You are sick of reflecting on your reflection.




Thanks for reading.

Tom.

Wednesday 6 August 2014

6th August 2014 - Edinburgh on the horizon...

Within 48 hours, I will once again be in Edinburgh, spending a week taking in the delights of the festival. This, my 3rd trip to the Edinburgh Fringe, will be different from the previous 2. This isn't just because I will be watching different shows (obviously; if I went 3 years in a row and watched exactly the same things every time, I don't think that would be making the most of the incredible choice of shows on offer).

Firstly, my accommodation. During my 1st Fringe Festival, I stayed in a mixture of a hotel and in the flat of an Edinburgh resident. For my 2nd Edinburgh, I stayed in the flat of a different Edinburgh resident. This Edinburgh? I'm back in a hotel, but I am sharing a room with Mr. Sam Bowskill, who has joined me and Dan on our writing challenge (you can find his blog by clicking here). As for next year, there have already been plans discussed that would involve me sharing a flat with a group of my comedian friends (including PDT, who is currently writing an Edinburgh blog that is worth checking out), and staying for the full run; I've wanted to go for the full run ever since my first Edinburgh in 2012, but circumstances - namely, the fact that life hasn't gone to plan at all for me, so I've not been able to get a job - have prevented that from being a possibility. People have been saying that "it'll get better soon" since 2012, so hopefully things will turn around by 2015, or I fear that I will be left behind.

Secondly, this will be the first Edinburgh where I will be performing. While I had done a handful of gigs before my previous 2 Edinburghs, this is the first year where I have actively sought out spots in Edinburgh. I don't feel that I am going up there as a comedian, though; I intend to spend 80% of the time socialising/as a punter. It will be nice to do the odd set here and there this year, mind, before hopefully having my life in order to do it all properly next year.

In terms of shows that I am going to go see, there are very few in my mind that are set in stone; I imagine I will plan most of the shows I'm going to see once I'm up there, seeing as all my previous timetables that I had worked out in advance were pretty much thrown out the window. All I'm certain of is the fact that I will not be seeing a certain comedian named Jim.

As for my daily writing challenge, I am unsure what I am going to get down on paper during the festival; I imagine it will mostly be a mixture of show reviews and stand-up notes, considering all the comedy I'll be seeing. But hey, who knows? I am hoping to see some non-comedy shows this year, too (by that, I mean spoken word/theatre/music shows, not simply comedy shows that are awful), so maybe I'll be inspired to write a poem or something similar while I'm up there?

Thanks for reading.

Tom.

Tuesday 5 August 2014

5th August 2014 - In the Club, BBC Drama, episode 1 review

Most people who know me will know that I don't watch much television. Most of my viewing time involves a small number of shows; Pointless, The Simpsons, American Dad!, and various sports shows. However, today, I sat down and watched a new BBC Drama entitled In the Club. It revolves around 6 pregnant couples, all in varying different circumstances. One are a lesbian* couple, one of whom is cheating on her partner with the sperm donor for their child, a man who is also the father of their teenage son (who the one who isn't cheating gave birth to when she was in a previous relationship with him) - which is a bit hard to believe. More believable is their subplot of said teenager son, who is struggling to come to terms with the fact he now has two Mums, referring to his mothers as "just mates" when a classmate asks who he was talking to. There is also a 15 year-old girl who hasn't told anyone she is pregnant, a first-time Mum-to-be who is experiencing an unplanned pregnancy she is still uncertain about, and another first-time Mum who is suffering the typical nerves and worries associated with having your first child.

I didn't initially set-out to watch it, though. To be honest, I had no idea what it was, until I overhead some pieces of intriguing dialogue while making the tea for Mum and Dad. After giving them their drinks and watching for a couple of minutes - mainly because I noticed that John Marquez (who plays a character in Doc Martin, one of my favourite TV shows ever) - was part of the cast. Eventually, I left the room, and spent 5 minutes on the computer, but this couldn't stop my ears from drifting away from the PC towards the living room, where more dialogue was sucking me in.

I also glanced at the screen through the doorway from my seat, and saw that Will Mellor (best known as Gaz in Two Pints of Lager and a Packet of Crisps) was also a member of the cast. Despite not being a huge fan of Two Pints..., it attracted me to see a second known-face; I was furthermore drawn towards the show by the fact that he was playing an unemployed, 37 year-old father of two, with two on the way, who was desperate for a job. His character was shown turning up for an apprenticeship - that he had been sent to by the JobCentre - only to be refused the role because the man in charge "thought they were sending a lad". Despite the fact that character pleaded that he'd been for 19 interviews, was close to losing his house, and would "make the tea, sweep the floor, do anything", the boss refused to give him the job, saying "it wouldn't be right" to give it to him, as it wasn't "a proper job".

It was at this point that I turned the PC off and sat down in the living room. As someone who has been unemployed for a long period of time, this struck a chord. Hard. Later in the episode, he is so desperate that he robs a bank, profusely apologising to the lady behind the counter as he does so, begging her to forgive him - and to not press the alarm button (which she does, as it is her job). His completely desolate state, which ultimately leads him to turn to doing something he feels awful for doing, is very powerful to watch.

Not everyone knows that he was made redundant 5 months ago, though - not even his wife. However, she finds out later in the episode (talk about one guy having a shitty day), and goes on to confront him. Despite his protestations that he didn't want to worry her while she was pregnant - especially as she suffered a miscarriage in the past - she is furious with him, demanding to know when he was going to tell her. He replies "I don't know; 'cos everyday, I thought, 'well I'll get something', but there are no jobs, Diane". She angrily snaps back "no bloody jobs? Have you tried looking in paper?!", to which he responds - after a brief pause, and a stare that every unemployed person can relate to, a stare that clearly says "you have no fucking idea how hard it is" - that's he looked every day. She then asks him what else he's been doing; through a mixture of anger and tears, he reels off everything he's tried, including asking the bank for a loan, going to interviews, to visiting the JobCentre. It was incredibly moving to watch, and it truly resonated with me.

There are a lot of things that were great about the first episode of this programme; it was gritty, dark, emotive, and - the "woman who is cheating with her and her partner's sperm donor, who is also the father of her partner's son" aside - it feels believable and real. When, as the end of the episode, the 15 year-old girl gives birth to her child, it was truly beautiful to watch, and you genuinely felt emotion seeing her hold her child for the first time.

If anyone is interested in giving this new BBC Drama a watch, I recommend it. It felt very similar in tone and style to a previous BBC Drama that I loved called The Street, which was another dark, gritty drama, that had a total of 3 series, all of which were made up of 6 parts. Each episode chronicled the events that happened to a different set of characters, whose stories all intertwined with other characters on the same street during their individual tales. I recommend checking that out on DVD if you get the chance, too.

It is also nice to have something called In The Club that is better than that song by 50 Cent.

Link to the first episode of In The Club on BBC iPlayer

Thanks for reading,

Tom.

*To clarify; their sexuality is never disclosed. They are merely shown to be in a same-sex relationship.

Monday 4 August 2014

2nd/3rd/4th August Catch up!

Hello! I am back from a lovely few days away. With Edinburgh looming (I am going up on Friday), these last 3 days, and my holiday with my friend's to the Peak District, I have spent an incredible amount of time away from my home recently. I feel quite the jet-setter.

2nd August

As I said in my previous blog, I planned to write some stand-up on the journey to London Euston from Tring; I am pleased to say that I managed this. I might try some of it out later this week, if I can polish it in time.

3rd August

To be completely honest, I didn't get much written. I was preoccupied by the board games based on Bargain Hunt (AMAZING) and Men Behaving Badly, respectively. Throw in Crash Team Racing and Mario Kart: Double Dash, and you have I think this is probably my first day since I started this challenge where I've failed, to tell the truth. But, really, I am not that bothered by this. Sure, I didn't manage to get something down, but if this little project I've embarked on gets me writing something for 6 days out of every week, then I see no reason to be annoyed at myself if I occasionally slip up, especially if I slip up purely because I was busy having a fun time! This isn't going to lull me into a mindset where I let myself miss days just because "I don't feel like writing today", or anything like that; it is just a genuine admission of the fact that there will be days in a year where I am too busy to take time out of my day to write.

4th August

Today, I have spent time adding to my superhero story that I started last year. Progress had stopped for a long time, with the "date modified" detail telling me that I last worked on this project on this particular project on the 5th of November 2013. Reading it back, there is plenty that could use editing/re-writing, a process I have started. I'd love to be able to stretch this story out into something more substantial over the upcoming months. The longest piece of fiction I have ever written was around 6000 words long, so attempting a novel-length piece of work is completely alien to me. Perhaps that is partly why I have put off working on it for so long? But that is also why I really want to work on it.



Tomorrow I will actually write something, instead of writing about writing, which is effectively all this blog is. BUT IT STILL COUNTS.

Thanks for reading.

Tom.

Friday 1 August 2014

1st August 2014 - Tomorrow, we party.

Hello once again. Firstly, I must announced that my blog posts for both the 2nd and 3rd of August will be late. The reason for this? Over these days, I will be away from my computer, joining in the celebrations for the birthday of my friend and fellow comedian, Kate Cherrell.

Her birthday falls on August 2nd. As is customary for the birthdays of my creative friends (when I remember), I am going to use this opportunity to promote her work, so people who like me can give someone I like a nice, little, free birthday present, while having a nice ol' laugh at the same time.

Kate is one-half of comedy double-act, Biscuit and Brawn (she is the Brawn half). Along with Adele, they have made handfuls of silly, funny videos, that can be found on their YouTube channel by clicking here. Alternatively, you can click the below video to watch one of their videos.



Kate has also made videos on her own, as one of the members of our Vlogtober gang last October (along with Adele). In fact, the entire concept was Kate's idea, so she should be thanked for kicking us all up the bum a bit just over 10 months ago. Her solo channel can be found here. Below is one of the videos from her channel, where she makes cakes. She's like Ainsley Harriott for the Bebo Generation.



Hopefully this will drive a couple of views, subscriptions, and fans Kate's way, because she's really cool. The same goes for Biscuit and Brawn, of course.



I intend on using the 40 minute journey from Tring to London Euston tomorrow to write something for my August 2nd entry. I am leaning towards writing some stand-up; I think this is because I have often written stand-up before when on the train to a gig, so it feels like they go hand-in-hand (despite the fact trains don't have hands. Yet.) The stand-up will not be disclosed in a blog, though, as I much prefer expressing stand-up comedy ideas as they were intended to be expressed; on stage, in front of an audience. Not to mention the fact that the ideas/jokes will probably be unfinished, and I'd rather not release that area of work until I feel I have it right.

Tomorrow should be lots of fun. It is the kind of birthday party I like; videogames, food, drink, and lovely company (some of whom I haven't met, and others I haven't seen for far too long). Also, spending time with other creative types can often be great for creativity itself, so that's always a good thing to do.

Speaking of other creative types, I saw Dan this evening, and you will be pleased to know that we have both kept to our promises so far; he is making good progress with his novel, The Hawker, which I am thrilled to hear.

Now, let's get to the true point of this blog. I have just one question; is it wrong to beat someone at Super Smash Bros. Melee on their birthday? Because me and Jigglypuff are like the Muhammad Ali of that game...basically, in 10 years time there will be a film about us made, with Will Smith playing Jigglypuff. The theme song? Will's hit track, Gettin' Jiggly Wit It. It'll spawn a spin-off, The Fresh Puff of Bel-Air. Can't bloody wait.

Thanks for reading!

Tom.

Thursday 31 July 2014

31st July 2014 - July reflection

Hello again. Firstly, thank you all for the lovely responses to yesterday's blog; there were people who have never liked one of my Facebook posts before who liked that post, which really meant a lot. I was thinking that I would spend today writing up a more extensive "part 2", but I decided I'd do that at another date, after I have had a bit longer time to think it over. Today's blog, on the 31st of July, will be a look back at my month. I thought this would be a nice idea for the final day of each month, so I could one day look back and say "hey, check out what happened in October 2016! I ate 3 packets of Mini Cheddars!"

The main thing that happened in July? A holiday to with some of my closest and dearest friends (Dan, Matt, Jon, Dean and Stu). We'd been planning this for what seems like forever, so it was lovely to finally do it, quite frankly. Our location of choice was the Peak District, for a week of relaxation, laughter, and Stu doing impressions of Batman. As holidays go, it was probably the best one I've had; the weather was perfect - apart from one day that it was too hot, but hey, 6 out of 7 ain't bad (as Meatloaf sung in the 7" extended version of his song); the scenery was beautiful; the accommodation was lovely, and very well priced; and, most importantly, the company was brilliant.

Here we are enjoying a BBQ. Matt is enjoying it more* than the rest of us.

*More flamboyantly.


In terms of my creative pursuits, it was a pretty dead month (until this challenge started right near the end). I am hoping I will have more to report on this front come the end of August!


As for leisure time, I spent what was arguably too much time playing various Pokemon games on my Nintendo 3DS - I would happily argue for just as much time that it was incredibly well spent, however. This was spent partly on Pokemon Y, but mainly on a port of the GameBoy Color game, Pokemon Trading Card Game, which has recently been re-released as a download on the 3DS' eShop. It has been a wonderful hit of both nostalgia for one of my childhood favourite games, as well as genuine enjoyment for it as a videogame. I have found it to be more challenging than Pokemon Y, despite (or perhaps partly helped by) the more limited game mechanics.



Also during this past month, I have met up with a local published writer named Lesley, and we have been discussing the possibility of starting a stand-up comedy night in Berkhamsted. I'll give you more details of this once those details are more set in stone.


In terms of days out, I went to see a very enjoyable football match (my team, Chelsea, beat Wycombe 5-0 in a pre-season friendly), and I also saw plenty of comedy previews as part of the Tringe Festival, and all (apart from one) definitely went down as an hour well-spent.


August has in store for me: another meeting about the possible comedy night; a handful or so of gigs booked in; the Edinburgh Festival; birthdays of a couple of brilliant people; last but not least, the Cheddington Cup. This is an annual football tournament that myself and 5 friends play to see who will be crowned this year's Cheddington Cup Champion. Now in its 4th year, it's pretty much bigger than the World Cup. Also, I have 31 blogs to write in August. That's a whole lot of writing, and a whole lot of travelling. August, you are going to be fun, but shattering.

Thanks for reading.

Tom.

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