Monday 24 February 2020

The Admin Day

Welcome to The Admin Day. The day where I reply to e-mails that I have been meaning to reply to for weeks, or sometimes months. We all have these days; outwardly, everyone likes to pretend they are on top of everything, nailing their responses to e-mails within 5 minutes of receiving each one. The reality, though, is that many of us have regular patches of our lives where we struggle to response to an e-mail, or to fill out that form, or to finally upload that document.

It's super easy to beat yourself up for not being on top of everything all of the time, but y'know what? Who is? I think my record length of time it has taken me to respond to an e-mail is something like 10 months; needless to say, it wasn't one that had a deadline, it was a social conversation, but even so, I feel like it's an important thing to publicly acknowledge. This year has started with a lot of stuff going on in my life. I covered a lot of what was happening in January in a previous blog, and it hasn't really slowed down since then! This month, I've performed previews, booked previews, performed a tour show, performed club gigs, applied for club gigs, written new material, applied for new opportunities, had meetings, and managed to shower pretty much every day!

But despite doing all of that, there's always that niggling voice,  that constantly reminds you of all the things you haven't done; there's that e-mail from December, the video you meant to record since October, the podcast you haven't edited that was originally recorded over a year ago...in this line of work, it can often feel like we are constantly veering between feeling super productive and accomplished, and then feeling like we are doing fuck all.

I suppose my intention behind this entry is to remind people that we are all not doing enough; and we are also all doing more than we need to do. Especially for people with mental health issues (i.e. 99% of people working in the arts), it can feel like an endless battle to be constantly motivated, to tick boxes...let's be honest, even me writing this blog is me doing so to say "I have done that today, box ticked, 5 points to Ravenclaw". It is important to celebrate those little successes on some days, though, because not every day can be the day where you change the world. Some days, you just have to be happy you changed your clothes.

Today, I replied to e-mails I have been meaning to reply to for weeks. It may not seem like much to some, but to others, it really is something. It's important to remember that.

Thanks for reading,

Tom

Sunday 2 February 2020

Do artists ever have a day off?

The end of January 2020 signalled the start of a bright new era; yes, that is correct, I did my first work-in-progress shows at VAULT Festival!

I really enjoyed these early previews; the staff at Hello Darling were so lovely, and the audiences were brilliant. Much like last year, VAULT has given me a chance to try brand new ideas, and leave the venue thinking "awesome, we have the seeds of something great here", so a huge thank you to everyone who came along!

Coming home from the venue, my mind immediately turned to my upcoming tour show at the Leicester Comedy Festival; I have booked a few dates that will also see the show coming to Sheffield on 8th March and to Glasgow later on that month, with a Manchester date in July, but that is not on sale yet. It is very exciting to be taking the show on the road, so if anyone reading this knows someone from those places who they think would enjoy the show, please do let them know!

However, while it is definitely very exciting, and something that I am looking forward to, it has made me realise that, mentally, I can never allow myself a day off. There can be days where I am not gigging, or where I am giving myself a bit of chill time, but I haven't had a day off completely for...years. There's always something to be done, someone to reply to, some idea you need to explore and make funnier. I think that's one reason why being a creative can be so tough on your mental health; even when you give yourself a "day off", it's never a proper day off, as you are always thinking "I just need to check my e-mails", "oh, I should tweet about my show", "I should post the link to this blog on a forum to get it a million hits". You always feel like you need to keep running forwards, keep pushing, keep hustling, because if you take one day off, or don't check your e-mails every 20 minutes, then you'll miss the opportunity of a lifetime. Regardless of how much you do - or how well you are doing - you always feel like you're not doing well enough, that you could be doing more, that you should be doing better, and that you only have yourself to blame if you're not.

I know that getting to do this as my job is far better than when I worked at Sainsbury's - trust me, I do get that. But one thing Sainsbury's did afford me - which was not much financially, cos £8 an hour doesn't go far - was a day off. I'd work on Saturday and Sunday, and then on Monday and Tuesday I would not be thinking about Sainsbury's. I would go a whole day without asking anyone if they had a Nectar card. I would wear clothes that weren't weird, uncomfortable maroon jackets. I wouldn't be worried that my manager would be peering over at me on my PlayStation, judging me for not looking enthusiastic enough about Sainsbury's and ALL THEIR GREAT OFFERS.

Part of me feels like I may never allow myself a day off, because you're always trying to create better art, to reach more people, to be more successful; but another part of me thinks that, if I were financially secure and had a large enough fanbase to not have to worry about ticket sales as much, then I would be far more relaxed about everything. Maybe one day we shall see.

Today was supposed to be my day off...hope you enjoyed the blog!

Thanks for reading,

Tom

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