...What? Oh, sorry. I was talking about a different Tom Mayhew - the one who is currently the most-viewed one on YouTube. Here is a video of him:
Don't worry; I didn't post his highest-viewed video here. That would be self-defeating. This is one that only has 15 views at the moment. His most-viewed video has 1128 views - my highest viewed only has 334 views. However, I achieved this in 6 months, while his view-count took him 4 years! Hopefully this means I'll eventually take-over him. I hope it really hurts him, and tears run down his annoying Tom Mayhew face.
It is one of my goals to beat this Tom Mayhew, to be the best Tom Mayhew on YouTube. But why do I want to beat him so bad, purely because he has the same name as me? Is this normal? In fairness, I'm sure everyone has searched their own name into numerous search engines to find people who have the same name as them; I know my friend Jack Crawey is currently friends on Facebook with 5 other people named Jack Crawley.
It isn't just this Tom Mayhew I hate; I also really dislike the Tom Mayhew you can find at www.twitter.com/tommayhew. Not only has he taken what would be the ideal Twitter username for me - much easier for people to remember than www.twitter.com/TomMayhew91 (FOLLOW ME EVERYONE!) - but he only has 18 followers. He's only done a measly 1 tweet, which he has protected. But this isn't even the worst thing; this Tom Mayhew is a published author. Pretty cool, huh? NO.
"But, The Real Tom Mayhew", you're thinking while reading this..."why do you hate him being an author? Isn't it also your aim to make money from writing, so surely he's something of a kindred spirit?"
In a sense, reader, you are right - I do want to make money from writing. However, I want to make money by writing exciting, interesting and intelligent writing. That makes this Tom Mayhew a nemesis, for his published book is "God's Will for the Rest of Us"; basically, him telling us what has already been written by a man thousands of years ago.
Here he is talking about The Bible, like an annoying Tom Mayhew would - feel free to watch this one, too. It only has 1 view in 1 month. Boy, he's really earned that Twitter name...
Hearing him say "I'm Tom Mayhew" genuinely sent a shiver through my body. He then says some load of nonsense about turning a job into fruit. He's confusing. GIVE ME MY NAME BACK, YOU ANNOYING MAN!
At least I am currently the most-followed Tom Mayhew on Twitter. That's something. It'll really hit home just how special that is when 2 people click the link after I post it on Twitter.
Hope you enjoyed this post.
The Real Tom Mayhew.
I feel your pain. I searched 'Hayley Carr' on YouTube the other day only to find that another Hayley Carr has 77 subscribers which put her above me on the search with a channel she's only had since June. Not only that but she is the very person with the twitter name @hayleycarr and there are videos of her on other channels with thousands of views because she is a World Champion Martial Artist. You see, I'm not normally a competitive person but I feel like I have to beat this 'Hayley Carr' (and the 5 on twitter who have more followers than me). I'm putting it on my bucket list 'become the most famous Hayley Carr on the internet'! Don't even get me started on the actress...
ReplyDeleteI enjoyed your blog. Nice to know I'm not the only one who does this sort of thing. :p
Dude I got a kick out of this. I don't know if you're genuinely pissed off about this or not, but that was an awesome read. Good luck to you, real Tom Mayhew. Visit my blog if you get a chance and let me know what you think: http://johnnymoneyseed.com/
ReplyDeleteThis really made me laugh Tom! I like the idea of this blog being emailed to either of the above Tom Mayhews and them going "what the fuck?!"
ReplyDeleteOh wow. Amazing idea. I'm going to do that! :D
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