Project Create 2013: Day 9 - Poem #2

Hello, and welcome to day 9. On this day, I have decided that I am going to write another poem; it may evolve into a song, a short-film, or possibly both.

It's inspired by the tragic story from last month, where two young lovers - aged 15 and 18, respectively - made a suicide pact, ending their lives together on a train track. As a man who has suffered from depression for around 11 months, I have spent a lot of time thinking about the topic of suicide; I am not saying this for sympathy or to worry anyone, merely explaining the fact that - like most sufferers of depression - such dark thoughts occur on a daily basis. There's nothing you can do to stop that.

In my mind, when I have thought "how would I end it?", the idea of being hit by a train has always been one that appealed; it happens quickly, it's nearly always a guaranteed "success", and it would mean that no-one I loved would have to find me. There's also something of a glamour surrounding the thought of the destruction taking place. But this news-story made me think at length, for the first time, about the actual process of committing suicide by getting hit by a train. I had only ever imagined either standing on the platform and jumping in the way of a train that is speeding through the station, or jumping off a bridge onto the tracks into the path of the same train, but there is so much more to it than that, which I decided to explore through poetry.

Train Track Suicide Pact

Departure time: 5 minutes, though it'll probably be late,

Just our luck, the bitch called life forcing us to have to wait, 

To leave this hell; with its limited love and excess of hate,
Please stand back: a train is approaching at an alarming rate.

Do we stand on the tracks and embrace as it collides?
Do we shut our lids tight or stare into each-other's eyes?

Do our eyes shed tears because of what our lives became?
Or do we laugh, because we'll never have to face any of it again?

Do we run towards our deaths to bring forward our fate?
Do we jump at the last second, or do we stand there and wait?

Do we want an after-life, or do we hope that this is the final goodbye?
Do we feel helpless and weak, or finally feel a sense of strength inside?

Do we exchange "I love yous"? Or do we believe our hearts are dead?;
Much like the hope and joy that once resided in our heads.

Do we shout "fuck you" as it ends, do we scream in anger for a while?
Or do we face our deaths peacefully, as we finally break a smile?

I feel an immense sense of pride concerning the above piece. We're only on day 9 of Project Create 2013, but I already feel my belief in my writing ability has returned. It is a wonderful feeling.

Thanks for your time. Comments would be appreciated on this piece, if any strong thoughts or opinions spring to mind upon to reading it.

Tom.